EXT DAY. In a post-apocalyptic world, 2 twenty-something guys are sitting around a campfire, eating chicken from a spit. Guy 2 is using a serious looking knife to cut pieces off the bird.
guy1
Man, how did we get here?
guy 2
Fiik fiic.
guy1
What?
guy2
Fiik fiic. Fuck if I know, fuck if I care.
guy1
Dude, there is something seriously wrong with you. We might be the last two people left on earth.
guy2
All I’m saying is I’m just glad to be alive, with a nice fire going and some food to fill my belly. I don’t know what happened to the world, and I don’t care.
guy1
Aren’t you the least bit curious?
guy2
No.
guy1
Dude, that’s scary.
guy2
I’m telling you, right now all we got to worry about is surviving.
guy1
Yeah, but eventually we’re gonna have leisure time again, once we figure out some basic strategies for food and shelter. Then what are we gonna do? There’s no more movies, no more football games on TV. No bars. No babes. Aren’t you gonna miss that?
guy2
I’ll tell ya, I’m starting to miss the peace and quiet I had before you showed up.
guy1
Books. I miss books. All the knowledge of mankind and civilization is gone forever. Art, music, literature. Don’t you care about that?
guy2
No. (mouth full of food)
guy1
We should try to remember as much as we can for future generations, you know, in case there are any.
guy2
Not caring.
guy1
Art: pointillism, abstract expressionism, cubism, existentialism. No wait, I don’t think that last one belongs. Music: jazz and classical and rock n’ roll, hip hop, acapella, blues, folk, rap. (beat) Maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone about rap. (laughs) That’s funny man. We control the future of rap. We can make it disappear forever.
guy2
(grunts)
guy1
Are you gonna help me out with this or not?
guy2
Not.
guy1
C’mon man. This is important. Future generations, if there are any, are relying on us. It’s up to you and me to preserve what we can of this world.
guy2
If I helped you with one thing, would you shut the fuck up?
guy1
Yes. Literature. What are the four conflicts? Man versus man, man versus god, man versus nature and and…shit I can’t remember. Man, God, nature…what is the last one?
guy2
Chicken.
guy1
What?
guy2
(with mouth full of chicken)
Chicken. It’s man versus chicken.
guy1
No, it is not.
guy2
Sure it is.
guy1
Stop saying that!
guy2
Man versus chicken. Man versus chicken.
guy1
I’m gonna smash you in the face if you say that one more time.
guy2
Man … versus … bock bock bock bock bock.
[An altercation ensues between the two guys. After a brief tussle Guy2 stabs Guy1 who falls down dead. Guy2 sits back down to finish eating.]
guy2
See, I was right, man versus chicken. (laughs loudly, chokes on chicken in mouth, pantomimes choking, pushes on guy1 to help him, falls down dead next to guy1).
A chicken struts through the campsite.
Fade
Roll credits
--END—
friends have been by to visit
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