Faith-Based Workplace

Have you ever been curious about the way organized religions manage to ignore, deflect, or obfuscate the hardest questions about God, creation, and the mysteries of life? Have you ever wondered how they do it, or perhaps even fantasized about using their methods in your own life? Well, now you can! With this amazing new system from Barking Cow Productions: The Faith-Based Workplace™

The Faith-Based Workplace™ is a complete system of instructional videos, workbooks, and role-playing exercises designed to turn you into an all-powerful corporate player without any accountability whatsoever. Here are just a few of the things we cover in this comprehensive guide:

• Tithing—how to collect kickbacks from your minions and vendors and make them feel glad about it
• How to ostracize colleagues who won’t play by your rules
• Holier than thou—how to make anyone feel guilty when they ask you to do something for them
• How to meddle in your colleagues’ projects in the name of the CEO
• The Caste System—how to make your department feel superior to all other departments
• The Holy Trinity—CEO, CFO, VP Sales
• The Pope wears a yarmulke and a dress—attire for career success
• How to make yourself one of the CEO’s ‘chosen people’
• Deification—how to promote any unsuspecting colleague to a position they are destined to be crucified for
• The Fatwa—how to use arbitrary edicts to control criticism
• Demonizing your enemies—character assassination with the help of the number one demon himself, Beelzebub
• Fish into wine—miracle making 101
• Reincarnation—how to convince everyone you’ve changed after your cruel side has been exposed
• The Son of God—how to make nepotism work
• Sects or Sex—how to tell when you’ve gone beyond cult status in the organization
• The Crusades—how to plunder and pillage the company credit card with the CFO's blessing
  
• When to invoke the phrase that ends all debate: It’s the CEO’s will
• Channeling Torquemada—when to call for an Inquisition and how to conduct one
• The Holy Scriptures—how to reinterpret the Mission Statement to fit your personal agenda
• Prophets to profits—the LDS model for making money
• Circumcision—how to cut off your detractors in a meeting, literally
• Acts of God—how to deflect blame for disasters
• The Second Coming—how to rise again from a dead career
• Holy War—declaring an office Jihad and taking no prisoners!

Includes special career guidance:

• Accounting: Despite the evidence to the contrary, numbers are not an exact science—you have to shuffle them around until they match your story.

• Customer service: Using all nine levels of Hell and voice mail to your advantage.

• Marketing: The high priests of the company—divining where the industry is heading.

• Tech Support: Punishing the heretics who want to use software not sanctified by the company.

• Sales: Missionaries selling the hereafter to the faithless heathens.

• Software engineers: The mystics whose Halo 3-induced trances enable them to speak in tongues and write in secret languages. If you believe their code is bug-free, then it is!

Sure, you’ve probably read Machiavelli’s The Prince or Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. Those may have even been helpful to you; but add the power of religion to your resume and you’ll be Omnipotent! Order your copy of The Faith-Based Workplace™ today from Barking Cow Enterprises for only $199.99.