By some odd quirk of corporate law, one of the few requirements of every corporation is that they hold an annual meeting of the Board of Directors and a record be made of the meeting. This requirement is not waived even if the corporation has a single shareholder who also happens to be the President and Chairman of the corporation.
It happens that I am in the very position described. My cafe is organized as a corporate entity under the rubric of Barking Cow Enterprises of which I am the sole shareholder. So, I am required by law to hold a meeting with myself each year and record the proceedings in a corporate log should the SEC or some other governmental entity ask to see evidence of my annual meetings.
I now present for you the actual record of my first Board meeting.
Barking Cow Enterprises, Inc.
Annual Corporate Meeting for fiscal year 2006
1/1/2007
Board Members:
Present: Jon Gold, El Presidente Grande & Chairman
Jon Gold, Secretary
Jon Gold, Finance Chair
Absent: the rest of the world
Quorum present? Yes. Wait, is that the same as a minyan?
Others Present: Karma the wonder dog
Proceedings:
• Meeting called to order at 7:04 p.m. by Chairman Gold
Chair motioned to waive the reading of the minutes from the last meeting and accept them into the record.
Secretary Gold objected for the obvious reason that this is the very first meeting and as such there are no minutes from the last meeting; unless the esteemed chairman meant the meeting we had before we were required to have meetings with ourselves. Secretary Gold reminded the chairman that there were actually two meetings; the first wherein they discussed the timing of the meeting and the second whether or not they should use the bathroom prior to the meeting.
The Chair proclaimed that the bathroom meeting probably did not qualify as a recordable event.
Secretary Gold respectfully disagreed and pronounced the bathroom meeting to be extremely productive but regretted that in any case there are no minutes of either pre-meeting meetings.
Chair directs the secretary to duly note the lack of minutes to accept and remarked off-handedly about the poor quality of tissue in the restroom.
• Chief Executive's Report:
1. The corporation paid officer’s salaries in the amount of $13,116.57 to its sole shareholder, Jon Gold.
Chairman Gold declared the salary “a paltry amount” and made a motion to raise the Chairman’s salary to $1,000,000.
The Finance Chair objected to the motion by explaining that the requested salary exceeds net revenue by several orders of magnitude.
The Chairman objected to the phrase, ‘orders of magnitude’ because he did not know “what it means, really, when you get down to it,” and ordered it stricken from the record.
The Finance Chair explained that ‘several orders of magnitude’ in this instance is 7,624 percent.
The Chairman withdrew the motion and directed the Finance Chair to investigate how, ‘those clowns on Wall Street lose money each year yet still get paid astronomical sums.’
2. As of December 31, 2006 the corporation had retained earnings of $3,305. The book income for the year ended December 31, 2007 was $3,305.
The Chairman demanded to be shown the money. The Finance Chair explained that the money doesn’t really exist, it is just an accounting phrase based on cash basis accounting methods.
3. The Corporation incurred $6,000 of debt to Mark Gold, of which $4,500 was repaid during the year.
The Chairman made a motion to immediately declare bankruptcy and thereby keep the remaining $1,500 owed to Mark Gold. The Secretary reminded the Chairman that Mark Gold is in fact the Chairman’s brother and keeping his money would no doubt upset their mother.
The Chairman withdrew the motion but instructed the Finance Chair to ‘figure out some other way to do it’.
4. The corporation contributed $112 to various charitable organizations.
The Chairman demanded an investigation be initiated to determine exactly who these so-called charitable organizations are, noting that, “ a hundred twelve bucks is almost one percent of my salary, dagnabbit. Why do they deserve it more than I do?”
5. The corporation purchased the following assets:
Finishing oven 219
Slicer 253
Espresso machine 3,500
Dish table 633
$4,605
The Chairman objected to spending the funds for these pieces of equipment. The Secretary carefully explained that each was necessary in order to continue providing espresso drinks and food to our customers and that in any case the funds had already been spent and perhaps the Chairman should pay a little more attention next time before he writes the checks for such purchases.
6. The corporation received $115,574 in assets and $73,233 in liabilities in a tax free exchange pursuant to code section 351 of the Internal Revenue Code.
The Chairman, predictably, demanded to see the $115,574 before he was coldcocked, bound and gagged by the Finance Chair.
• Finance Committee report provided by Chair, Jon Gold
Finance Chair Gold reported, “We are broke and have little chance of changing that while this idiot (referencing the Chairman) is in charge of things. I have nothing else to report.”
• Assessment of the Meeting: By unanimous assent (and a bark from Karma) all in attendance agreed that this meeting sucked.
• Meeting adjourned at 9:37 p.m.
• Minutes submitted by Secretary, Jon Gold.
Walking in Paris - Street Art Edition
One of the reasons I wanted to go to Paris was the art. A long time fan of Impressionism, Cubism, Abstraction and Expressionism I could not wait to delve into the museums to finally see first hand the art I have admired for so long from books and the interweb. Are the works of Klee, Matisse, Cezanne, Monet, Degas, Modigliani, Picasso, Miro, and Kandinsky as miraculous in person as they seem? The answer is, of course they are.
But in pursuit of the sublime we found ourselves continually charmed by the street art that we encountered wherever we went.
Clicking on each picture will open it up in a new tab.
The artist at work in Montmartre.
A trapeze artist swinging from a water pipe.
We happened upon this 3 story high tree and accompanying poem in the Latin Quarter. I fed the words into 6 different web translators and combined the results to come up with this (paraphrased) translation:
Pay attention
to this great tree
because through him, it may be enough.
Even though it is torn and dirty,
this tree of the street,
it encompasses all of nature, the sky,
the bird that settles here, the wind that moves through it,
the sun which greets it with the same hope in spite of death
Philosopher
if perchance you have such a tree on your street
your thoughts will be less troubled,
your eyes more free,
your hand less drawn to the dark.
This was a great bit of art almost wasted on a bus shelter. The artist took the iconic imagery created by Toulouse-Lautrec and overlaid it with a collage of fashion shots from a 1950s clothing catalog.
These next two shots are from a photo exhibit along the Seine. While not technically 'street art' it was refreshing to see art embraced and displayed in a public setting.
I totally dig the center image of the female form expressed in welder's beads, though I can imagine Americans freaking out over such pictures should anyone dare try to display them in public in this country. How did we devolve to such prudery and fear of our own human vessels?
The following are from a booth at a flea market. I don't know if the seller was also the artist, but the pieces all have the same stylized look to them with a thematic mockery of Maoism. I love the bawling schoolgirl and femme fatale with the MIG-25 jet soaring over her shoulder
Graffiti on the Place de la Concorde, near the Musée de l'Orangerie. The Monet exhibit therein was amazing, but so was this bit of hand painted typography. Much thought went into this, which translates roughly into: to be astonished is an honor.
But in pursuit of the sublime we found ourselves continually charmed by the street art that we encountered wherever we went.
Clicking on each picture will open it up in a new tab.
The artist at work in Montmartre.
A trapeze artist swinging from a water pipe.
We happened upon this 3 story high tree and accompanying poem in the Latin Quarter. I fed the words into 6 different web translators and combined the results to come up with this (paraphrased) translation:
Pay attention
to this great tree
because through him, it may be enough.
Even though it is torn and dirty,
this tree of the street,
it encompasses all of nature, the sky,
the bird that settles here, the wind that moves through it,
the sun which greets it with the same hope in spite of death
Philosopher
if perchance you have such a tree on your street
your thoughts will be less troubled,
your eyes more free,
your hand less drawn to the dark.
This was a great bit of art almost wasted on a bus shelter. The artist took the iconic imagery created by Toulouse-Lautrec and overlaid it with a collage of fashion shots from a 1950s clothing catalog.
These next two shots are from a photo exhibit along the Seine. While not technically 'street art' it was refreshing to see art embraced and displayed in a public setting.
I totally dig the center image of the female form expressed in welder's beads, though I can imagine Americans freaking out over such pictures should anyone dare try to display them in public in this country. How did we devolve to such prudery and fear of our own human vessels?
The following are from a booth at a flea market. I don't know if the seller was also the artist, but the pieces all have the same stylized look to them with a thematic mockery of Maoism. I love the bawling schoolgirl and femme fatale with the MIG-25 jet soaring over her shoulder
Graffiti on the Place de la Concorde, near the Musée de l'Orangerie. The Monet exhibit therein was amazing, but so was this bit of hand painted typography. Much thought went into this, which translates roughly into: to be astonished is an honor.and so it is...
Walking In Paris -- That Damn Tower
First, a math lesson. They never taught me this in school (not that I went to many classes anyway) but apparently 25 years of marriage is the algebraic equivalent of 10 days in Paris. And since equations must always balance, you can't have one without the other. Leastways, that's the way Mary explained it to me. So we did some walking in Paris. First stop, Eiffel's Tower, home of the world's biggest fish fry
(William Morris, 1834-96, British poet, designer, artist, and typographer was one of the founders of the Arts and Crafts movement.)
During Morris’s last visit to Paris he spent much of his time in the restaurant of the Eiffel Tower, either eating or writing. When a friend observed that he must be much impressed with the tower to spend so much time there, he retorted, “Impressed!? I remain here because it is the only place in Paris where I can avoid seeing the damn thing.”
As Morris noted, it is difficult to avoid that "damn tower" as we took to calling it.
Clicking on the pics will open them full size in a new tab
NB: No, Jon is not wearing a beret--he has been wearing his chef hat for over 3 years (and even removing it sometimes when he showers).
Upon first arriving at the tower, you will be offered a key chain for 1 Euro. As you proceed under the tower and through to the other side the price quickly drops to 2 for 1 Euro and finally 3 for a Euro among the more desperate sellers of gimcracks. By day 4, when walking past Notre Dame, the price was 5 per Euro.
We could not get the shot we wanted because they are doing some reconstruction work and have a big ole tarp strung across the middle. Maybe next time...
Would you like some tush with your tower?
It's actually much smaller than the French make it out to be.
(William Morris, 1834-96, British poet, designer, artist, and typographer was one of the founders of the Arts and Crafts movement.)
During Morris’s last visit to Paris he spent much of his time in the restaurant of the Eiffel Tower, either eating or writing. When a friend observed that he must be much impressed with the tower to spend so much time there, he retorted, “Impressed!? I remain here because it is the only place in Paris where I can avoid seeing the damn thing.”
—The Little Brown Book of Anecdotes, 1985, ed. Clifton Fadiman, p. 413
As Morris noted, it is difficult to avoid that "damn tower" as we took to calling it.
Clicking on the pics will open them full size in a new tab
NB: No, Jon is not wearing a beret--he has been wearing his chef hat for over 3 years (and even removing it sometimes when he showers).
Upon first arriving at the tower, you will be offered a key chain for 1 Euro. As you proceed under the tower and through to the other side the price quickly drops to 2 for 1 Euro and finally 3 for a Euro among the more desperate sellers of gimcracks. By day 4, when walking past Notre Dame, the price was 5 per Euro.
We could not get the shot we wanted because they are doing some reconstruction work and have a big ole tarp strung across the middle. Maybe next time...
Would you like some tush with your tower?
It's actually much smaller than the French make it out to be.
Walking Past Cars
I pass through several neighborhoods on my walk and in the suburbs that means there's plenty of cars.
I don't know what he is trying to convey with this paint job:
* he likes to fish
* his car goes like a fish
* he is a fish who drives
It is easier to discern the meaning of this image often seen on the mudflaps of pickup trucks and 18-wheelers:
The Wyoming Library Org has tried to co-opt the image with their own version:
(and I have to wonder if my librarian friend Carolyn, formerly of Jackson Hole, Wyoming had anything to do with it...)
I'm not so sure that they achieved their goal with this image as I imagine the young lady is reading either Lady Chatterley's Lover or Penthouse Forum.
They also had a marvelous bumper sticker on their web site:
which I may have to purchase for Qacei who is never without a book in hand.
And then I found this version on the interwebs which I may have to purchase for her first car.
Which brings us back to walking among the cars wherein I happened across this on the back of a Honda Civic the other day:
and it made me smile for the rest of my walk.
I don't know what he is trying to convey with this paint job:
* he likes to fish
* his car goes like a fish
* he is a fish who drives
It is easier to discern the meaning of this image often seen on the mudflaps of pickup trucks and 18-wheelers:
The Wyoming Library Org has tried to co-opt the image with their own version:
(and I have to wonder if my librarian friend Carolyn, formerly of Jackson Hole, Wyoming had anything to do with it...)
I'm not so sure that they achieved their goal with this image as I imagine the young lady is reading either Lady Chatterley's Lover or Penthouse Forum.
They also had a marvelous bumper sticker on their web site:
which I may have to purchase for Qacei who is never without a book in hand.
And then I found this version on the interwebs which I may have to purchase for her first car.
Which brings us back to walking among the cars wherein I happened across this on the back of a Honda Civic the other day:
and it made me smile for the rest of my walk.
My Walk
My walk is wonderful. It is a mile through the Village Green Park to the Jackson Frazier Wetland.
The Wetland is ever changing and I see something new nearly every day. For example, do you know what happens when a cattail reaches maturity?
It's a fecund mess and the boardwalk gets covered in fluff at this time of year.
Aristotle noted that, 'Nature does nothing uselessly,' and Kepler paraphrased him with, 'Nature uses as little as possible of anything.'
But neither man must have been a careful observer of the reproductive process because where sex is concerned, nature uses a shotgun approach. A woman is born with tens of thousands of eggs and a man produces millions of sperm just so that they can produce a couple or three offspring in their lifetimes. Plants throw out millions of seeds in the hopes that one or two or ten will take root. Fish scatter their eggs by the thousands in open water. There is nothing conservative about this process, it is a Tammany attempt to stuff nature's ballot box with as many offspring as possible.
The Wetland is ever changing and I see something new nearly every day. For example, do you know what happens when a cattail reaches maturity?
It's a fecund mess and the boardwalk gets covered in fluff at this time of year.
Aristotle noted that, 'Nature does nothing uselessly,' and Kepler paraphrased him with, 'Nature uses as little as possible of anything.'
But neither man must have been a careful observer of the reproductive process because where sex is concerned, nature uses a shotgun approach. A woman is born with tens of thousands of eggs and a man produces millions of sperm just so that they can produce a couple or three offspring in their lifetimes. Plants throw out millions of seeds in the hopes that one or two or ten will take root. Fish scatter their eggs by the thousands in open water. There is nothing conservative about this process, it is a Tammany attempt to stuff nature's ballot box with as many offspring as possible.
Walking Round In Circles - Intro
I walk 5 miles every day. I do this because I just turned 50 and I swore to myself that I would not turn into one of those middle-aged guys who look like they are about to give birth:
I have struggled with my weight most of my life and suffered being called 'Pugsly' by my eldest brother when we were younger (it's okay--we refer to him in my house as 'Uncle Puffy' as he is now beginning to inflate).
Eight years ago I put myself on a regime of my own devising. I started going to the gym 3 times a week and created the no-white diet (no white sugar, flour, pasta, bread, rice or potatoes). I dropped 40 pounds in 18 months. But I didn't keep up with it and gained back 20 pounds over the past 6 years of restaurant ownership.
So now I am walking every day and have lost 10 pounds in the past 3 months. And I have modified my diet to take into account my slowing metabolism (portion control is your friend) so I don't gain it back this time.
But that is not the point of these entries. The point of these entries is that I bring my camera with me and take pictures of interesting things I find on my walk so I can share them with you here. Make sure you click on the images, some of them are quite nice in full size.
I have struggled with my weight most of my life and suffered being called 'Pugsly' by my eldest brother when we were younger (it's okay--we refer to him in my house as 'Uncle Puffy' as he is now beginning to inflate).
Eight years ago I put myself on a regime of my own devising. I started going to the gym 3 times a week and created the no-white diet (no white sugar, flour, pasta, bread, rice or potatoes). I dropped 40 pounds in 18 months. But I didn't keep up with it and gained back 20 pounds over the past 6 years of restaurant ownership.
So now I am walking every day and have lost 10 pounds in the past 3 months. And I have modified my diet to take into account my slowing metabolism (portion control is your friend) so I don't gain it back this time.
But that is not the point of these entries. The point of these entries is that I bring my camera with me and take pictures of interesting things I find on my walk so I can share them with you here. Make sure you click on the images, some of them are quite nice in full size.
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